Torn Asunder: Mending Infidelity

Though written with a faith-based foundation, the Torn Asunder approach has been successfully used with couples from both non- religious and other religious backgrounds. The primary focus of the material is not to restore the marriage, but to stabilize it in the midst of the crises, so that the couple can make prudent decisions for the family’s future. Regardless of which direction the marriage takes, several relationship components need to be restored, such as forgiveness, respect and trust between the spouses. These spouses are usually parents and this work between them is so exhausting that it has to be time-limited (90 days), highly structured, and emotionally helpful for the couple to stay in the process. The work won’t be completed in 90 days, but the couple will be responding to each other in more humane ways that lowers the tension in the family environment.

The program, based on the Torn Asunder book and workbook, can be used by therapists, clergy, marriage educators and even well-supervised peer counselors or mentor couples. The latter is especially true if they have experienced infidelity first hand and have worked through the material with their spouse of that marriage.

Participants will receive:

• A video of the Conflict Resolution Training, done with a client-couple in a first-session hour
• A certificate of completion which provides a free half-hour phone case consult
• Three books (all affair stories) designed to support couples as they work through the marital and affair issues: Unfaithful, The Greener Grass, and My Husband’s Affair
• A DVD of an abbreviated presentation (3 hours) for your review as needed
• A set of handouts for each segment of the workshop
• A set (one book, one workbook) of Torn Asunder: Helping Couples Recover from Infidelity

Topics of the seminar will include:

• Marital prognoses based on the Marital Satisfaction Time Line
• Review of the communication exercises utilized in the stabilization process; monologues, spousal-selected monologues, dialogues, prayer exercises and sensate-focus practices
• Summary of marital styles prone to infidelity
• Clarification of infidelity type based on eight distinguishing characteristics
• Criteria for establishing affair onset and recovery direction
• Verification of the four stages of affair development
• Rationale and benefits of disclosure to spouse
• Interventions to contain anger, impulsivity, and obsessiveness in both spouses
• Procedures to help couple work through identified couple-specific issues
• Organization of the structured forgiveness exercise
• Overview of weekly homework exercises for each spouse
• Utilization of the final project in the after care and launch process of the couple
• Final review of common “couple stuck points” with multiple suggestions for restarting the process
  

July 2, 2008
Cornerstone Fellowship
348 No. Canyons Parkway
Livermore, CA
925.447.3465 x5445
Caren Wolfe
(This training will qualify you for listing on this site)

July 3, 2008
12th Annual Smart Marriages Conference
At the Hilton San Francisco Hotel
Smart Marriage Workshop #208
This model provides a structure to stabilize marriages in the crucial first 90 days,; skills to differentiate types of infidelity and to start forgiveness and trust building; plus homework. 1.5 hours of training that will prepare participant to start using Torn Asunder material with couples either singly or in groups. TOOB (Teach Out Of the Box).

Register at the Smart Marriage website